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Marriage Counseling Cape Town

Emotionally Focused Therapy

At Relationship Therapist Cape Town I specialize in Couples Therapy. If you require marriage counselling or therapy for your relationship, you have come to the right place. I provide counselling and therapy services to help you achieve the best relationship possible. In need of help with relationship problems? Do not hesitate, contact me now for Counselling or therapy with your relationship problem.

I am situated in Cape Town, South Africa. i am available to assist you in person. I am also available on most video platforms, be that Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Skype or whatsapp Video. I am always ready and able to assist with any relationship crises you may experience.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach designed to improve attachment and emotional bonding in adult relationships. Developed by doctors Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s, EFT is grounded in research on love as an attachment bond.

EFT focuses on helping couples and families develop a secure emotional bond, leading to stronger relationships and better communication. It follows a clearly defined system consisting of nine steps across three stages to guide the therapist and track progress.

The stages of EFT are as follows:

  1. De-Escalation: This stage involves identifying negative interaction patterns, exploring negative emotions related to attachment issues, and reframing these issues. Couples learn to view undesirable behaviors as "protests of disconnection" and work on emotional availability, empathy, and engagement to strengthen their attachment bond.

  2. Restructuring: In this stage, partners learn to share emotions, demonstrate acceptance and compassion, and become more responsive to each other's needs. The goal is to reduce conflict and create a secure emotional bond by expressing deep underlying emotions from a place of vulnerability.

  3. Consolidation: The final stage focuses on practicing new communication strategies and skills to prevent conflict and maintain positive interaction patterns. Through new sequences of bonding interactions, old negative patterns are replaced, creating lasting change and a healing environment within the relationship.


Emotionally Focused Therapy can benefit couples struggling with conflict, distress, and poor communication. It can also be useful in individual therapy and family therapy, helping individuals improve emotion-related problems and family members form secure bonds.

EFT has shown effectiveness in various contexts, backed by extensive research, and is considered one of the most empirically validated forms of couples therapy. Its benefits include improved emotional functioning, stronger bonds, and enhanced interpersonal understanding.

While EFT can lead to positive outcomes, it may also involve exploring challenging emotions and patterns. The willingness of both individuals to participate actively in the therapy process is crucial for its effectiveness.

To get started with EFT, couples attend therapy sessions where the therapist observes their dynamics, actively coaches and directs new ways of interacting, and focuses on addressing emotions and interactions within the session. The therapist helps couples recognize their emotions and behaviors, often unnoticed, that contribute to relationship conflicts.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is commonly used by mental health professionals to assist couples, families, and individuals who are experiencing relationship distress. This therapeutic approach aims to improve communication, empathy, and emotional bonds while addressing unresolved emotional attachment issues.

EFT is especially effective in the following situations:

  1. Couples seeking to improve their relationship: EFT helps couples communicate more effectively, understand each other's perspectives, and deepen their emotional connection. It can enhance relationship satisfaction, resolve conflicts, and promote long-lasting improvements in the relationship.

  2. Families experiencing conflict: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) focuses on strengthening emotional bonds and improving communication within families. By fostering emotional expression and empathy among family members, EFFT can reduce conflict and create a more harmonious family environment.

  3. Individuals with past emotional wounds: EFT provides a safe space for individuals to process unresolved emotional attachment issues and traumatic experiences. It helps individuals develop healthier coping strategies, heal emotional pain, and build more secure and fulfilling relationships.

  4. Those seeking to improve communication and empathy: EFT assists clients in learning effective communication skills, expressing emotions in a non-judgmental way, and enhancing empathy. This can benefit couples, families, and individuals in all types of relationships, fostering healthier and more satisfying connections.


By using EFT, mental health professionals can help their clients improve relationship satisfaction, strengthen emotional bonds, process past experiences, and create healthier relationship patterns. The benefits of EFT have been supported by research, demonstrating its efficacy in promoting overall well-being and emotional resilience.

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